Nerves and Confidence and Letting Go…

“Do not follow the ideas of others, but learn to listen to the voice within yourself. Your body and mind will become clear and you will realize the unity of all things.”  Dogen Zenji (1200-1253); Buddhist Monk, Philosopher

My husband and I recently returned from a short anniversary trip to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan where we snowshoed and cross-country skied.  We found Valley Spur Ski Trails, just outside of Munising, in the fall of 2010 and now have a new favorite “winter fun” getaway place.  This year, the snow was plentiful as usual, thanks to the weather term: “Lake Effect Snow”.  This term is well-known to anyone who lives in a downwind area along any of the Great Lakes.  Our first day on the trails was awesome.  It was snowing very hard and when we stopped to catch our breath, if you listened very closely, you could almost hear the snow landing on the trees and all around you.  I began to think of how much I DON’T hear because of all of the noise going on in my head.

Most of the noise lately has been my nerves about teaching my first Vinyasa class on the 31st of Jan.  Am I going to do ok?  Will my students enjoy my class?  What if I totally stink as a teacher?  I’ve been trying to quiet this noise in my head with meditation and asana practice but it was during my early morning reading and meditation practice from Rolf Gates’ book “Meditations From The Mat” that I finally understood what I needed to do.   In it, he says that “mindfulness is the art of paying attention.  But there is more to it than that.  It is paying attention with an abiding faith in a loving universe.  When we pay attention with faith that we will be supported, then growth really is possible, our vision becomes clear, our path becomes unobstructed, and we are able to see the ‘Good in every person and situation’.”  I knew right away that I had to let go of this doubt and anxiety and just believe that I’ve prepared as much as I can, and put my faith in a loving universe.

I immediately felt a weight lift and I remembered standing out in the middle of the Hiawatha National Forest, listening to the snow fall.

Namaste,

Sheri